When the average
person hears about someone like Sharkey, their first instinct is to
laugh, call him a weirdo, and move on. The problem is, there are many
others out there just like him, and while they're not all under the
delusion that they're powerful vampire wizards, these people have a lot
of traits in common that you wouldn't notice at first.
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| Pictured: a powerful vampire wizard. |
Let me tell my story
first. This is an account of my experience with an online sexual
predator. Even though they don't deserve it, I am keeping their names a
secret to protect both myself and the people in question. I'm old enough that I
remember when the Internet was a brand new, and kind of scary, frontier.
The main way most people connected then was via Prodigy, or in my case,
America Online. Seeing as how I was kind of an antisocial teenager, I
enjoyed the idea that I could talk to people without having to actually
see them face to face. It was mysterious and kind of fun. At first I
began exploring chat rooms and just observing. AOL was very strict about
where minors could go using their service, so I was unable to get into
the racier chat rooms where I was certain sex was occurring. Again, I
was a teenager, and my hormones were percolating like crazy.
Eventually I found a few chat rooms that were family
friendly and I began haunting those frequently. One was about music, one
was for people interested in writing, and the last was a fantasy-themed
role-playing room. Let me clarify: this
was not like the kind of role-playing room you might find nowadays.
This had little to nothing to do with sex. This was for people with big
imaginations to hang out and mingle in a made up character of their
choosing, with other people acting as their own character. There were knights,
princesses, vampires, fairies, elves, wizards, and just about any other
kind of Dungeons and Dragons creature you could imagine. And these
people, who tried desperately to stay "in character," would talk and
spin tales about their adventures. It seemed harmless enough.
Now, at my age then, I
was into two things: vampires and fantasy. So this room was like Mecca
to me. I had no idea at the time that.I was probably mingling with a
bunch of adults, but it was the early days of the Internet, and AOL was
very serious about privacy. The only way I could possibly get
myself into trouble is if I gave someone my information.
You can see where this is going.
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| America Online - powering masturbation fantasies since 1993. |
Her screen name was
LadyJaye. She and her friend were in the room already the day we met.
Honestly, I can't recall how she and I started talking, but after a
while of chatting in the room, in character, she sent me a private IM
and wanted to know if we could be friends. At this point, it didn't even
cross my mind that this person was probably an adult. I certainly
hadn't let on that I was a kid. So I enthusiastically said yes to her
request, and she was added to my Buddy List.
After a while of talking to each other in character,
she finally revealed her real name to me. Stupidly, I did the same. She
told me she lived in a small town in Louisiana, which was amazing to me,
since I had never even had a pen pal before, so the idea of talking to
someone across the country was exciting. It was at this point that
things started to take a turn.
I'm going to break
from the story for a moment to make a point here. Clearly you can see
the direction my story is going in. But have you caught the similarities
yet between Lady Jaye and Sharkey? In both cases, they are lonely
adults who, for one reason or another, feel the need to live in a
fantasy world to make themselves feel better about their life situation.
The thing about that, and why it us such a common trait among
pedophiles, is that kids remain in a fantasy world of one type or
another, sometimes never really leaving it once they enter adulthood.
The stress and responsibilities of being an adult prove to be too much
for them, and so they retreat into a world of their own design, where
they can be anything and do anything they want. Since most other adults
would shun this behavior as creepy or immature, they are forced to
associate themselves with those who also inhabit a fantasy world... kids. This is part of the reason for
the hatred of many social groups that seem to cater to a younger crowd,
yet are enjoyed by adults, such as Furries and Bronies.
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| I see nothing wrong here. Nope. |
Getting back to my
story, after revealing her real name to me, Jaye began to tell me about
her life. She was in her late 30's, married, and working part time at
some office. She was unhappy in her marriage, though, and made no secret
of it. To most people, that'd be the first clue that something was
wrong. Was she intentionally trolling the chat rooms, looking for an
affair? Or was this just happenstance? I'll never know the real answer. I
was just shocked that this woman was talking to me, and so candidly
too. I was nervous. She seemed really nice, and I hadn't mentioned yet
that I was a minor. Would she freak out?
As the days went on, I found myself attracted to this
mystery woman. True, I hadn't even met her, or seen a picture of her,
but in my adolescent mind, she was a sweetheart: a damsel in distress
who needed a shoulder to cry on... and maybe someone to rescue her. But
what could I possibly do on the other side of the country? This thought
was exactly what she needed to get deeper into my head.
Another aside: while
the genders may be reversed, this idea is the same that Sharkey likes to
impose on the girls he preys upon. They're all teens, and after all,
what moody, depressed, hormonal teenage girl wouldn't want to have
a knight in shining armor whisk her away from all her problems and carry
her to a secluded castle? That is exactly what he promises them. That
is the way he gets into their heads initially. Of course, he fails to
live up to his promises, and he then has to impose a.different kind of
control over them. More on that in a bit.
The day finally came when Jaye wanted to talk on the phone. I was terrified. There was no way that she wouldn't immediately notice I was a kid once I answered the phone. So I decided to spring the info on her. I told her that I was not an adult; I told her that she had been conversing with a teenager this whole time. She was a bit taken aback, but apparently it didn't much matter to her. She said that for a kid, I was remarkably mature. This is also a typical excuse that pedophiles will use for why they engaged a minor - ignoring the fact that no matter how mature a child may seem, they are still a child in the eyes of the law, and clearly they still don't understand how the world works. That is a kind of maturity that only comes with time.
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| McDonald's is that-a-way! |
So we talked. And talked. And talked. And eventually we became so enamored with each other that we exchanged addresses. This is exactly what I mean when I say that, regardless of how mature I may have seemed at the time, the worldly knowledge was not there in my head. It did not occur to me that I essentially gave my name, address, and phone number to a complete stranger.
Once we exchanged addresses, she began to send me pictures of herself. At first, they were just candid photos of herself, her and her friend from the chat room, and so on. But eventually, the photos became racier. Pictures of herself in lingerie, making goo-goo eyes, and so on. Nothing overtly pornographic, as I'm sure the thought occurred to her that she could easily get busted for that, seeing as how she KNEW I was a minor and lived at home.
By this point, my family knew that I was spending a lot of time talking to and receiving mail from some stranger. They began to ask questions, and stupid as I was, I went ahead and explained the situation from my point of view. Amazingly, they didn't see it the same way that I did. They saw it for what it was - a lonely and probably disturbed woman who was attempting to engage a relationship with a minor, one who was at least half her age. I became angry, not understanding why they didn't see it my way.
This is a great illustration of how pedophiles can manipulate young minds. Sharkey does this all the time, and in some cases, he gets full-grown adults to agree with his shady morals and ideas. It's disturbing how easily swayed some people can be, but when it's a naive child, it doesn't take much more than making them feel like they're wanted, like they're special, like someone cares and wants to listen.
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| Yes! Yes you are! |
Eventually, I was told that I couldn't be on the phone with her anymore. Jaye's way around that was to have me send her an IM, telling her when I was home, and she'd call me instead. That way there were no charges on the phone bill. But my family aren't dummies, and when I started receiving phone calls late at night, they knew who it was.
Jaye became desperate. She told me that the situation with her husband was getting worse, and that she needed to get away from her. Her friend told her that she'd be willing to let her stay there if it came down to it, and that I could come down and visit. This was the last act of a desperate predator - giving me carte blanche to see her without any sort of repercussions from her husband. But how in the world would I get down there? I didn't see any possible way to get myself down there.
She told me that she'd be willing to come up and get me. She loved me, she insisted, and was willing to do whatever it took to ensure we were together. She also told me that she wanted to be "my first." The idea of having sex with a virgin minor apparently excited some sort of creepy romance novel vibe inside of her, and she wasn't going to have it any other way.
Ironically, it was the passage of time that would do her in. The longer that this "relationship" went on, the more and more I began thinking. Seeing as how mature I was for my age - in her own words - it occurred to me that if I were to get into a relationship with her, how long could it possibly last? Yes, the idea of making it with an older woman and losing my virginity was definitely tempting, but how in the world could I keep this going without turning my back on my family? I may have been upset with them for trying to cut me off from talking to her, but I still loved them.
Finally, I made a decision. I was going to break it off. It was beginning to get a little scary. Her insistence that she be "my first" and her pushiness was beginning to get on my nerves. After all, where would we be in twenty years? She'd be in her fifties while I was still young and spry. It didn't make sense to me. And besides that, I started noticing certain girls at my school. One in particular caught my eye and I thought that I might want to ask her out. So I did. And she said yes.
As you can imagine, Jaye was NOT happy about this. She started on a tirade about how "she can't do the things to you that I can" and "I swear, if she touches you, I'll kick her ass." The angry ranting really snapped me completely back into reality, and it finally hit home - she was not some sweet damsel in distress, she was a GODDAMN PSYCHO. No sane adult takes it upon themselves to sexually liberate a kid! Especially to the point of ruining her marriage and potentially getting arrested.
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| Like this. But more Southern. |
This was the final straw. I decided that I had had enough of the online world for now, and I told Jaye that I didn't want to talk to her anymore. I deleted her from my Buddy List, but that didn't stop her from constantly trying to email me and contact me. She even kept calling, which pissed off my family. Eventually she got the idea and gave up. I changed my screen name and never looked back.
So that's my experience with an online predator. I'll never know what happened to Jaye, nor do I care. Just like Sharkey, any full-grown adult who is willing to put themselves in danger of being arrested by taking sexual interest in a minor is sub-human trash. The excellent thing about modern psychiatry is that we can see how people with similar illnesses are linked by personality traits, and as I look back at my experience with Jaye, I see a lot of the same things in Sharkey. The sad thing is, the girls he goes after are not quick enough to learn how much of a creeper he is, and a lot of parents just don't monitor what their children do on the Internet. A lot of them use it as a babysitter, much like TV or video games. And while no one is going to get kidnapped or raped by watching hours of television or playing their Wii, the Internet is a much scarier place. I shudder now to think about what would have happened to me if I had given in to Jaye's suggestions. I can only pray that any other girls that Sharkey encounters think twice before letting him into their life.
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| Creepy old men only get creepier with age. Remember that! |
